The authors of The Art of Connecting, Claire Raines and Lara Ewing, began with individuals, master connectors, who were extraordinarily effective at relating to, interacting with, and gaining the trust of people different than themselves. And they looked for commonalities between them.
Unfortunately, the wisdom of experience is a factor, but this collection of concepts backed up story layered upon story helps provide shortcuts.
Becoming a Master Connector
All we can truly influence is ourselves and our own reactions. The beginning of connection is in the mindset each of us holds as we approach another person. The five core principles that Raines and Ewing illustrate include believing it is possible to form a connection, being genuinely interested in the other, assuming their good will, looking beyond stereotypes, and avoiding the expectation that they will do the same for you.
Certain skills make it easier to build connections on the foundation. Five of these, all focused on what you do mentally and emotionally while attempting to connect, are illustrated in detail within the book. A sixth merits its own chapter – the ability to shift your perspective to increase understanding.
None of the concepts discussed are true surprises, especially when reading in isolation instead of trying to put them in to practice in a real life situation. What the book is working towards is to get you to recognize and think about them so you “sharpen the saw” in preparation.
Connecting within Groups
Often we are as much concerned with getting others to connect to each other as we are with our own ability, especially when we are trying to bring diverse perspectives together. The Art of Connecting addresses this lightly at first and then at the end presents a set of exercises you can use as a leader to practically convey the lessons you have already learned.
Well Organized Information
Although it deals with a soft, emotional topic the book puts that fuzziness in a logical format. The overall topic is addressed by introducing concepts, then tools, then further illustrated with smaller and larger case studies. Each chapter is separated into helpful sub-headings and contains an “at a glance” summary at the end.
Recommended
The Art of Connecting is interesting to read and contains information worth acting on phrased in a way that makes it possible to do so. I recommend it for anyone interested in working better with people different from themselves.
And in this sense everyone is different, but, as the book teaches, there’s always a bridge. Learn to build it with your words and actions.
